By Chris M
I sought out DMT as a possible therapy for long term anxiety and general unhappiness with life, despite having everything and achieving everything I ever really wanted. There are many well known commentators in the public arena these days who speak highly of it and I researched it well, so I thought why not?
I didn't want to try and acquire DMT and smoke it alone so I found a spiritual therapist where I live who discretely offers DMT as a therapy. She loaded the glassware up and I took 3 big hits. Everything sharpened up and I began to see stunning geometric visuals with my eyes. My vision was made up of a matrix of thousands of spinning balls in an octagonal, fractal arrangement - together it made a complete picture.
I met an entity that reminded me of a Sumerian God
I closed my eyes and was instantly taken into a dark place where I was met by a giant grey head with pointy hat and beard, much like the Sumerian god Marduk. He offered me a cup and without words he told me I need to take more if I want to come with him and find out. I opened my eyes, manage gain enough motor function to blurt out "more”, so she rushed over and gave me two more hits and closed my eyes and sat back...
I began to feel my being dissolve. I was instantly struck with panic and mass insecurity. Thoughts of "What have I done," and, "I'm taking this with a total stranger"… "What if I can't come down and die?" all raced through me creating panic. Everything grew dark. I was launched through a wormhole like swirling tunnel filled with dark purple and black storms. Inside were images and manifestations of my short term worries, arguments and feelings… I zoomed right past them leaving them behind.
I lost the ability to feel human or physical
I travelled towards light at the end of the tunnel and I was out. All ability to feel anything human and physical was gone. I was no longer with a body, but was perfectly as peace with what was happening to me. I felt like I had arrived to where I was always supposed to be.
I left the other side of the tunnel at a 100,000 miles an hour into what I can only describe as a prehistoric planet earth than had been flattened out onto a round plane that you could never reach the end of. I flew through with a stone head that looked like one of the Sumerian gods Marduk next to me for what felt like ages, over lakes, forests, mountains… all was super-vivid in color: bright yellows, oranges and greens. He was in control of the world, spinning it around, showing me what he can do.
3 entities held bags of knowledge
It suddenly became faster and faster and brighter and vibrated hard. Then boom we instantly stop! I arrived at the first dark place from before. This time where were more than one of these Marduk heads, maybe three? They were all holding those bags of knowledge that all the ancient gods are depicted on statues with.
They tell me without words that this is their world, they had been there for millennia and they know why I came here just as my ancestors did, but they were unsure I was ready to know yet. I felt like they were snickering at me a little.
Then boom, they shot me backwards across what felt like a universe into darkness. I faded back in, and was then floating through the cosmos on a seascape of synchronized colorful dots that represented the feeling of love as a frequency against a black cosmic sky.. it was pure divine love. The only thing that existed at that point was love, it was incredible.
I was dumbfounded at what had happened
As I floated around I began to feel my hands, then feet, then I knew I was sitting on a couch. I began to open my eyes, everything in the room was swimming a little and I regained consciousness and was able to sit up. For the first 5 minutes I couldn't speak; I was totally dumbfounded at what I had just experienced. I tried to relay the information but just couldn't speak - it wasn't for a lack of motor function as like when you're drunk as I was sat up and moving around perfectly normal with perfectly clear thought - I couldn't speak as I was awe struck. Words can't convey the experience.
Without a doubt it was the most profound experience of my entire life, it's made me question everything. Who are we, what are we doing here, what reality is, what DMT does to you. Does your mind go to another place outside, or do you venture deeper inside? I feel like a door has been opened and I've seen the universe's biggest secret.
I feel incredible, I'm not worried about anything anymore, I feel happy and I'm starting to appreciate life again. I feel like I'm the best version of myself.